Mother's Day is almost here and I bet there are many people out there still trying to figure out the perfect gift to get for their mum. Well today I am not sharing a gift idea list like I did last year. Instead, today were going to talk about our mums and how you can show her how much you love her - not just on Mother's Day. Although Mother's Day comes around once a year, your mother isn't only important once a year. She is important always. I imagine there are many people out there that may not have a good relationship with their mothers or like me, have lost their mothers and for that I'm sorry. I know how much that hurts. But the message I am sharing today goes out to all those people who are lucky enough to still have a mother or mother figure in their lives.

Mother's spend much of their lives caring for their family. They sacrifice so much every day of their lives to take care of you. Their lives are irrevocably changed when their children come into the world and they spend most of their lives nurturing and providing for their families. But there is so much more to your mother than being a mother. Before she became your parent she was a woman with her own life, her own interests, ideas and dreams. Sometimes we children forget that. I leant so much about my mothers life before me after she died that I never knew when she was living. Finding out things about her life (including a marriage I knew nothing about!) made me realise how much I never asked her before I lost the chance. It hurt me thinking about all I could have asked or learned. Our mothers spend so much time listening to us but how much do we listen to them? And how much do they wish that we would?


It's so simple and yet something I know many forget to make the time for. I'm not talking about a quick phone call or chatting over family dinner. I mean really talk to her. I know life can get in the way sometimes and time gets away from us but if there is time for Netflix and social media, then there is time for you mum. So pick up the phone and call her or make time to go see her. Sit her down and ask her how her day was or how she's feeling. Ask her what her interests are outside of you and your family. Take the time to acknowledge her interests and show her that you really care. 

Sometimes mums need to know someone cares and sometimes they need to talk things out too. They have shitty days like the rest of us but are usually so busy taking care of others, for anyone to take notice. Because that's what mums do - they put others first. So take notice. Make the time for your mum the same way she makes time for you. Show her that you care about how she feels and that she is important to you - and not just once a year.


When were young we often see our parents as invulnerable. They are like superheroes - they take care of you and keep you safe. I think sometimes we forget they're just people. They have bad days like the rest of us. They make mistakes and bad decisions and they're not perfect. Sometimes life gets the better of us and our parents are no exception. Nevertheless we love them irregardless.
We need to remember to view out mothers as they are - fallible, human beings. And like all human beings that make mistakes or having a down right shitty day, sometimes mums just need space. Or a hug. So when the next time your mum is clearly not having a good day, give her one. Or both. 


Mums do a lot for us and they do it because they love us, not because they expect something in return. We say thank you when mum does something for us but really sit back and think about all that your mother really does for you. Think about everything she has done for you over your life, about how much of her life was taken up caring for you. I know it's something mothers do because, well, that's what being a mother is all about but that doesn't mean we can't show our mum's how much it meant that they put up with all our crap.

Most mother's worlds revolve around their children but how many of us can really understand or appreciate how much of their lives they give up for us? How many of us have shown true and genuine appreciation to our parents for all they have done? The next time you see your mum, tell her how much it meant. Thank her for putting up with all the sleepless nights, the days spent picking up after your messy ass, the carpooling, the birthday parties, putting up with the tantrums and the teenage attitude. Really, truly, thank her. 


It's one thing to say I love you on the phone when hanging up a phone call or saying a quick, love you! when shooting out the door. But when was the last time you told your mother you loved her just because? When I lost my mother I agonised for days afterwards feeling guilty because I couldn't remember the last time I had told her I loved her and I wanted nothing more than the chance to say it again. So don't make the same mistake I did - tell her you love her for no other reason than because you want her to know. Because you know that hearing it will make her smile. Tell her you love her whenever you can because in life, you never know how many more chances you'll get to say it.

This Mother's Day remember that your mother isn't just your mother, she is a woman with thoughts and feelings, dreams and ideas. Remember that she isn't just there for you when you need her but you need to be there for her too. So this Mother's Day don't just give her a gift - get to know her. The real her, the woman underneath the title and show her how much she means to you, not just with gifts but with actions and with words. Show your mother she is loved. 


Bella. xx

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